Friday, December 12, 2008

Jared Allen...The Man, The Myth, The Mullet


If you had to pick the best thing about the NFL, what would it be? The fact that Adrian Peterson could break off an amazing run on any given play? Peyton Manning's ability to mount a 4th quarter comeback? Randy Moss making spectacular catches look easy? If you picked any of these, you would be wrong, my friend. Jared Allen's mullet is far and away the greatest thing this league has seen in a while. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't condone the mullet as a haircut. However, I have made an exception for #69.

Jared Allen is the highest paid defensive player in NFL history. Would you know that by judging his haircut? Not a chance. Writer Bill Simmons from ESPN.com put it best when he wrote, "Did Jared Allen tell his barber, 'Make my hair look exactly like Nic Cage in Con Air?'" The thing that makes Jared's mullet even better is the fact that he also has racing stripes shaved into the side of his head. One stripe for each sack he's gotten. For those of you keeping track at home, that's 12.5 sacks/stripes thus far this season. This guy has the gall to walk around in public looking like this. And for that, I applaud him.

Most importantly, Jared Allen has 3 rules that people must abide by if they have a mullet...

1. In everything you do and wear, you have to highlight your mullet.
2. You always have to respect another mullet.
3. Sleeves are optional.

I don't know about you, but he gets my vote for MVP based solely on this.

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