The Kick Is Up...And It's......

NOT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE! I've seen some pretty ridiculous stuff in the NFL, but on Sunday I witnessed one of the most absurd things I've ever seen in a football game. As the first half of the Raiders/Chargers game was winding down, the Raiders had the ball on their own 41 yard-line. With seconds left on the clock, the Raiders call a timeout. Conventional wisdom tells us they'll heave up a prayer and hope for a touchdown. I mean, all they need is a 60 yard bomb and Jamarcus Russell can throw that from his knees. That's what they'll do, right? WRONG!!

Here comes kicker, Sebastian Janikowski. You cannot be serious! A 76 yard field goal attempt?? Lets back up for a second. The longest field goal in NFL history is 63 yards. Hell, most kickers have trouble kicking it more than 50 yards. But we're supposed to believe that Sebastian Janikowski is about to hit the mother of all field goals? I know he can boot the ball, but come on now...just look at the video and see how far that is...he's kicking the ball from their own 34 yard-line for crying out loud!! Needless to say, the ball didn't even make it to the end zone.

The only logical explanation for this is that head coach Lane Kiffin knew he was about to get fired anyway. I'm sure the conversation went a little something like this...

Offensive Coordinator: "What do you think? Hail Mary?"
Lane Kiffin: "That would make too much sense. We're gonna blow this field goal record out of the water. What are they gonna do? Fire me?"

Yes Lane, that's exactly what they're gonna do.

Friday Five (9/26/08 Edition)

Here's the deal...every Friday I'll post 5 songs that I'm feeling at the moment...which you should also check out, since I obviously have great taste in music.

Robin Thicke - Dreamworld
Kanye West - Love Lockdown
Anthony David - Words (feat. India.Arie)
Keri Hilson - Turning Me On (feat. Lil Wayne)
Zo! & Tigallo - Steppin' Out 2008

Unsolved Mysteries

The following is a true story and took place on the evening of Tuesday, September 23, 2008.

If you know me, you probably know that I have two roommates named Ches and Olvin. If you don't know us, you're probably thinking, "What the hell kind of names are those?" But that's beside the point. So the other night, I'm upstairs working on a paper for school (cuz I'm so studious) and Ches is downstairs watching TV. Olvin is gone at this point. During a commercial break, Ches decides to run down to the basement real quick to get some laundry started. This is the conversation that took place when he came back up...

Ches: (Yelling upstairs) "Did Olvin just come in and then leave?"
Me: "No, what the hell are you talking about?"
Ches: "The back door is wide open."

(The door that Ches is referring to is the door that we usually use to go in and out of the house.) Back to the story...

Me: "Are you sure you didn't just leave it open?"
Ches: "I'm sure. When I was in the basement, I heard someone open the door and walk around."
Me: "That's weird. I didn't hear anything."

Right about now we're still thinking it was Olvin who did it. Olvin comes in about 10 minutes later and we ask him about it. He said it wasn't him. So at this point, we're all just like WTF??

About 20 minutes later, Ches realizes that his laptop is gone. He had left it in the living room when he went down to the basement and it was now missing. Then a little later, we come to find out that his iPod and a backpack that he had left in the kitchen were missing as well. So lets get this straight...some random ass person walked into the house, didn't make enough noise for me to hear them, grabbed some shit, and then was gone like a thief in the night (literally)...all within the span of no more than 2 minutes. Not to mention they left the door wide open...come on now, at least shut the door so bugs don't get in the house. My intuition tells me that the culprit recently watched Three Ninjas or Batman Begins and learned how to get their sneak on.

Is Unsolved Mysteries still on TV? I think I'm going to submit this story to them so we can get to the bottom of this. I hope they get somebody good to re-enact the crucial role that I played in all this. I guess the moral of the story is don't ever go down in your basement to do laundry. Either that or just keep your doors locked. One or the other.

Allow Me to Re-Introduce Myself...

My name is JORDAN, J to the O-R-D-A-N...ok, so that doesn't work quite as well as HOV...but you get the idea. And if you have no clue what I'm referring to, then step aside with your wack swag. So I've decided to do the mature thing and make a blog. Wow, I'm so grown up, right? I never really thought I'd get into this whole blogging business, but then I remembered that I'm a pretty cool guy and people obviously want to read what I have to say. You'll see...the popularity of this blog will skyrocket...which will be evident when there's 0 comments on each of the posts. But you know what, I'm gonna keep on posting cuz I feel like it, dammit. So what will this blog consist of? Well I'm glad you asked. Basically this is about whatever the hell is on my mind at the time...whether it's the music I'm feeling at the moment or stories of the tomfoolery I encounter with the people I know. So go ahead and bookmark this page cuz it's going to be awesome...no really, it is...I promise.

PS. I'd like to send a shoutout to Firefox for freezing on me the first time I tried to post this, which caused me to have to re-type the whole thing. Thanks!